btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
