So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Randomize
