so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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