so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
