My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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