I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
