love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
