After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
