Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
