Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
