If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
