there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I have feelings that need drinking.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
