You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
