My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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