just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
