why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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