Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
