I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
