just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
