i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
