So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
