I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
