My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
