Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
