i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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