Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
