i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Randomize
