I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Randomize
