Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
