I feel like abortions should bother me more
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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