we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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