Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
My first STD was from a foam party
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Randomize
