it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
