Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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