You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
