And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
handjob tips. give me some.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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