i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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