it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
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