I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
