So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Randomize
