He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
this hospital has no fireball
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
