Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
