why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
