I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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