Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
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