After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
