just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
