You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
