did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
