just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
