Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
